


Blink of an eye

by Deanpala



Series: TMA time travel fix its [1]
Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Beholding, Eldritch fear god, M/M, Monster Jon - Freeform, The Eye, Time Travel Fix-It, post 160, that awkward moment when your crush/boss is a fear god stalking you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-18
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:06:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 15,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23197552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deanpala/pseuds/Deanpala
Summary: Jon Becomes Beholding after the watchers crown, and even if it tells itself that theres none of him left in it, it decides to change the story.
Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
Series: TMA time travel fix its [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1758709
Comments: 354
Kudos: 647
Collections: RaeLynn's Epic Rec List





	1. Chapter 1

There was something to be said about a purpose being reached that made things seem wrong and empty. You ask for the world and when you get it, what point is there left?

(At least that was one of the things it told itself. It told itself that people would evolve past being afraid of being watched if it was a constant feeling, that they already had with the technology watching them all the time and their jokes about the fbi man watching them. It told itself that this was to direct, that as an observer it shouldn’t interact with the world. It told itself that it was just curious. And none of these were lies exactly, the eye was incapable of lies.

But that didn’t mean that these were focused on to distract from the vague devastated feeling that came when it heard the one who would always record himself. When it heard the desperate plea of “I don’t care how spooky or evil you are, I just need you back,-“

Jon, it told itself, was gone. Jon existed as much as sugar in a cake, no longer himself, just a small part of the whole that had no self anymore, or sway over the eye.)

So it decided to go back for a number of reasons, to change how things had gone and watch the show. After all, was it not the eyes job to observe everything, to look to deep and see every possible outcome?


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which beholding looks for ways to communicate, sees its past self, and goes "haha cringe"

  
When it went back, it realized that if anything were to change something else would have to do the work. As an observer it could not interfere after all, and it had no body to speak of, it simply existed to categorize and keep other people’s and things thoughts, not to act on its own.

Finding a way to communicate was a problem for later though, at the moment it needed someone to communicate TO.

It first fixed it’s gaze on the head of the institute and a strange illogical feeling filled it. Jonah Magnus was its most devoted follower, he had made the world into something of a tribute for it, and yet the sight of him filled it with rage. Absolutely not, this was the LAST creature it wanted to associate with.

It then thought of the Archivist who was so familiar to it and would BECOME, and it felt disgust, and disappointment, and pity, and a horrible sense of satisfaction Knowing what the Archivist was to suffer through. He had caused it coming into the world and becoming aware of itself, he had never figured it out despite all the pieces he had been given/ it had given him. Useless ugly creature. Monstrous. The act of passing him up would have made it laugh if it were able.

So that left the assistants. Tim was an obvious no due to his personal grudges against anything supernatural, and despite being the most competent, Sasha did not live long enough to be a known variable but Martin..... Martin was clever, ready to offer himself for any cause, and most importantly he was UNSEEN.

(It once again ignored the fact that since getting here it sung Martin’s name, ignored that it knew there wasn’t an actual choice to make because it was alway going to be HIM.)

Yes, he would do quite nicely. Now, to get his attention.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> first contact is made

The tapes had been easy to ignore at first.

The Archive was full of tapes, Martin had told himself. Someone had probably just forgotten one.

Martin had never been very good at letting things lie though, and he knew what was happening wasn’t natural.

The tapes had started following him home for one. At one point he went to work and his desk was covered in recorders all playing various bits of his voice from throughout the day.

He was curious and frightened, and as much as he wanted to just ignore it, he knew that if he tried much more he might be putting the archives in danger. Besides, things are so much more terrifying when you don’t understand them.

So he decided to try and address whatever it was.

He did feel a bit silly talking to a tape recorder like he expected a response though.

“I um- I know you’re following me, and it needs to stop.”

There was no answer and Martin was getting tired of this.

“You can’t just follow me for a month and then give me the silent treatment, you-“

And suddenly Martin felt like he was being held under a microscope and he could not move under the weight of the gaze.

The feeling eased a little after a moment and Martin could see his hands shaking.

“Don’t- don’t do that again I- why are you following me? What do you want?”

A tape appeared on the table and played itself.

“‘I’m afraid I don’t actually have these answers for you; I’ve simply been… watching. I’m sure you understand that.

Maybe I’ve occasionally been nudging something here and there to keep you safe, to keep everything’“  
  
“Safe? From what?”

“‘Tim and Sasha are dead-‘“

The tape fast forwarded itself

“‘And Martins gone’”

This didn’t sit right with him.

“So some benevolent supernatural entity that can see the future has a vested interest in saving our lives? You- I’m afraid you’ll have to prove that one. I mean, how do I know you’re not just choosing me as an easy target? Surely if you had any actual investment in this you would choose someone else., someone competent.”

There was no response and Martin could feel a shifting unease ooze from the thing.

“Well? Come on then, why me?”

“‘bound up in emotion. In feeling. How they exist, what they can do, how they interact with the world- there is a certain sort of emotional logic to it all. Things feel like they flow together in a way that makes sense.’”

Martin scoffed 

“So what I just felt like the right choice?”

The thing felt pleased by this conclusion.

“Right, ok. So how are you going to do this then, this helping us thing?”

“‘We thrive on ceaseless watching, on knowing too much. What we face is the hidden, the uncanny, and the unknown. If you are to stop them, you need to get better at seeing.’”

“So you’ll give us- ME information to work on. That’s- well I don’t have any say in the matter here do I? You won’t let me just refuse?”

The trickle of amusement permeating the room was unfortunately all the answer he needed to that question.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is martin out of character? idk this is my first tma fic and I remembered how he is later on with like hidden sass and bravery but also right now hes a push over so I didn't know how to work with that, also I made it so jon can only speak via statements and norns im suffering that was a terrible idea. whyd I do that to myself? bc it is a very good trope


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which beholding gets a snack

Things were going quiet well.

At least, that’s what Beholding thought. Martin knew it was there, it had an established way to communicate and best of all, it was still getting fed. 

Martin, for all his good qualities, understandably did not know how to deal with the fact an eldritch fear god was stalking him, and for some asinine reason thought telling JON of all people was a good way to get any assistance.

It cared for Martin as much as it could care for anything, but right now the circumstances he was setting up was a five course meal on multiple levels.

It was so easy to prepare, it hardly had to do anything. Martin was already scared, and he knew it could prove he wasn’t making this up by leaving a tape, but looking intensely at him and giving enough of a once over to Jon that he would instantly get defensive? Tripled its meal. 

And well, if Jon acted like he thought Martin was crazy for ranting about tapes and being watched, it was a small price to pay for a meal. It was after all, saving the world, so any act was justified was it not? 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Martin is under siege by worms, beholding knows how to pull strings, and Jon (sort of) saves the day. Also there was only one cot (oh my god there was only one cot)

Martin has thought he was coping with life like a champ. He had a major crush on his boss who was nothing but rude to him? Sure. He was lying about every qualification he had and struggling to do a job he didn’t understand? Easy peesey to deal with. Some Eldritch monster possessing tape recorders that could apparently tell the future was stalking him night and day and wouldn’t leave him alone? You know what, why not, he could live with that. 

What he couldn’t work with were the fucking WORMS. This had certainly not been part of his job description and the weird watching thing (he really needed to find a better name for it) was absolutely no help. It just manifested more tapes, probably so it could listen to him die in more detail or something.

He glared at a near by tape for the hundredth time and hissed at it “if you’re going to be sitting around could you at the very least pretend to help? Or to not enjoy this so much?”

To his utmost surprise one of the recorders actually responded.

“‘-fire extinguisher- the silver worms began to shudder and recoil, shriveling and dying.’”

“Oh well that’s just great isn’t it? You could’ve told me that BEFORE I’d been trapped in my flat a week yeah? Fat lot of good that does me, what with them in the hallways instead of you know, somewhere accessible. Thanks for that.”

It was no surprise when it didn’t answer back this time.

Martin sighed and slouched against the wall. Well at least he knew he wouldn’t die without anyone knowing, there were far to many tapes for that.

————-

The eye could admit, it may have gotten carried away enjoying martins fear, him knowing that it was watching purely to see him suffer. A week was still shorter than the first time around, and it suppose there was no need to keep him in torment, even if it was good fun.

Unfortunately as it did not have a body and it’s main contact was the one trapped, it would be forced to interact with someone else. 

Well it couldn’t be helped it supposed. 

Besides, it didn’t have to be as direct as it was with Martin, and maybe it could get the ball rolling faster this time around. Even if it didn’t particularly like Jonathan Sims or think he deserved Martin, Martin wanted him and deserved happiness so that was that.

And if it didn’t work out, then there would be nothing to keep it from utilizing Jon in the best way possible as The Archivist. 

The eye fixed its gaze on Jon and sent a very clear message, an intense feeling of  something is wrong  and an overwhelming desire to check what was up with Martin. He wouldn’t have to listen of course, but he would. The archivist didn’t know how to let things lie once he saw them, and it knew very well how to direct peoples attention on what they should be focused on.

Such as the fire extinguisher in the stairwell of Martins apartment complex.

Something it did not account for was that it had somehow forgotten that Jon is and IDIOT and the instant he sees Prentiss he screeches and  throws the extinguisher at her.

Fortunately, it does seem to be enough of a distraction that Martin can quickly leave the flat and run. It takes distracting Prentiss with several of Martins neighbors, but since Martin doesn’t notice it hardly matters.

(It should matter, it thinks. It used to be very important before and it can’t quite touch on  why.  Even if it did matter, if it did care about the people it helped feed to Prentiss, it still knows that Martin is worth the sacrifice.)

It draws them home, to the institute, where they belong, and they hurriedly rush in and slam the door behind them.

——————————-

Martin had not expected to be saved after talking to the recorders, and he expected to be saved by Jon of all people even LESS.

He did wonder why no one came earlier though, and if the watcher (until he knew better he was just going to call it that) had anything to do with it.

And since he was a MESS of a person and didn’t actually know how to interact normally instead of saying, I don’t know, thank you for saving his life or something, he asked Jon if he wanted tea.

“Martin what the hell WAS that?!?”

“I think it was- I think it was Jane Prentiss. She followed me home from Vitterys house and I was trapped there about a week. Don’t get me wrong I’m grateful but what were YOU doing at my flat?”

Jon looked away and if Martin didn’t know better he’d say he was what, embarrassed?

“I was-it’s silly but I felt... drawn there somehow it- it just felt.... right. I suppose I was worried for you? I got a text from you last week saying you were sick with a stomach problems, thought it might be a parasite but my calls to follow up we’re never answered, that’s probably what had me.... curious.”

Martin realized that this was most likely the doing of the thing in the tapes and promised himself to thank it later when Jon wasn’t there.

“I lost my phone running from Prentiss. Thank you for... checking in on me, really. Probably saved my life.”

“Yes speaking of which, I don’t think you should go back, considering she clearly knows where you live now. There’s a room in the Archives I use to sleep when working late, you can stay there until we figure out how to deal with Prentiss.”

“I uh- wow th-thanks Jon... but what about you?”

“What about me?”

“Well I mean- I’m pretty sure she followed us back here so it’s probably not safe for you to go home yet.... do you have your phone on you?”

“Why wouldn’t I have- never mind, what relevance does my phone have to the current situation? Whether we can get a cab or not?”

Martin has an intense urge to roll his eyes fondly at the sarcasm but manages to restrain himself.

“No Jon, but if we’dre staying here to avoid HER-“

“Which I still haven’t actually agreed to by the way-“

“Then that means when Tim and Sasha come to work tomorrow she could be waiting outside and we need to warn them, and if the coast is clear when they come in then it’s probably safe for you to go home!”

There’s an awkward moment of silence between them until Martin speaks again.

“Jon are you- are you going to text them or.....”

Jon resolutely looks away and a realization comes to Martin.

“You don’t have their numbers do you?”

Jon’s silence is enough of an answer.

“Are you serious? How do you NOT have-“

“It’s not professional!”

Martin sighs and wonders how they’re going to figure this out lest Tim and Sasha get eaten by a worm person thing and then suddenly it’s just like their numbers beam into his head, and the knowledge is just there.

He doesn’t like the idea that this thing could put ideas into his head, but he isn’t going to say anything in front of Jon about it and it is rather useful, so he supposes it can be allowed, just this once.

“Can I see your phone then? I know their numbers.”

“..... you can’t remember how to properly file a statement but you have your coworkers numbers memorized?” Jon asks, looking at him rather judgmentally in a way that makes Martin blush a little. He decides not to respond and just finishes the text.

Jon looks over what he sent and asks “wait, why did you tell them to bring fire extinguishers?”

“I- they kill the worms apparently. Some got into my flat and I had to use the last of the one under my sink.” Martin lies smoothly. He’s already told Jon about the thing that watches him and was utterly dismissed, he’s not going to risk useful information being written off because Jon decides that what he’s heard is the result of hallucinations caused by extended isolation.

Martin lets out an awkward cough.

“Anyway I really think you should stay here for the night Jon, is there an extra cot or- or you could have it if there’s not, I mean it’s only one night and I’ve caused you enough trouble and you’re letting me stay here for-“

“Martin it’s- it’s fine. I’ll stay here tonight if you insist but considering the week you’ve had I think you need it more than I do.”

“No I really don’t- I mean if it’s just one night I suppose we could share?”

Jon suddenly gets very VERY flustered and starts trying to talk about “professional boundaries” and “personal space” and Martin feels butterflies in his stomach at it at the same time he hears a recorder start, but it’s a sound he’s become rather used to and he ignores it.

“If you don’t it’s fine I can sleep on the floor I really don’t mind, any sleep at this point would be like a dream come true honestly and-“

“No I- it’s fine.” Jon says rather stuffily as if trying to make up for... well the entire scenario. “I suppose we can share. If you’re amendable to it.”

Martin hears a few more hidden tape recorders click on, and hides a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keep an eye out I’ll have another threeish TMA fics coming out soon.


	6. Chapter 6

The watcher had not been trying to communicate with Martin since he moved into the Archives, although he could always feel it there watching, as was it’s name sake.

And this was fine by him, he didn’t WANT to be stalked by a fear monster, but it had by this time at the very least proven it didn’t want him to die, so knowing that he had something looking out for him, even if it didn’t necessarily have his best interests at heart, was comforting. 

Or at least it used to be. At the moment though, locked away in a room while hiding from Prentiss AGAIN, with no forewarning, and the tapes taking it all in right after Jon had almost DIED to make sure he would be recording, while this thing could MANIFEST THEM AT WILL well.... he was feeling a bit vindictive if he was honest.

It wasn’t made better when Tim came back, and Sasha went out there, most likely to be eaten by more worms as the tapes just sat there and listened, as they were probably DYING-

He didn’t want to think about it, but all that loops through his head is that second tape it had given him.

Tim and Sasha are dead, and Martins gone.

————-

Beholding knew this was a delicate situation, it KNEW, there were a lot of variables.

Tim fared fine the first time but had to find the tunnels so he could rescue Martin and Jon.

To save Tim Sasha would have to leave, and it couldn’t let her die this time, she was to ( kind sweet smart amazing ) useful, one of the most competent people here, so that meant keeping her away from artifact storage.

Martin needed to find Gertrude’s body, so that they could learn not to trust Elias.

Sasha needed to go to Elias so he would flip the switch in time to save Tim Jon and Martin.

And if Sasha went to Elias she would of course be fed to the stranger.

Beholding, it’s job was to know, it did NOT understand how to pluck the strings of fate like the web does. So instead of anything overly complicated, it waits until Sasha is cut off from Elias by a wave of worms, allows her to run to artifact storage to avoid them, and promptly draws her attention to the window.

She’s three stories up, but it doesn’t care, it just keeps pushing her to go and look, to get outside, and it fumigates the room with fear to get her to run.

Her legs snap. It’s fine, probably. She’s not dead anyway, and really that’s the most you can ask for at this point.

—————-

Jon, Martin has decided, is incredibly annoying. He is actually genuinely trying to act like being attacked by a worm monster could possibly have a reasonable, non supernatural explanation.

And so Martin snaps a little.

“Why do you DO that?”

Jon gives him a vaguely annoyed look, like Martin is purposely being confusing.

“Do what?”

“Push the sceptic thing so hard!? I mean, it made sense at first, but now? After everything we’ve seen, after everything you’ve read! I hear you recording statements and y-you just dismiss them. Your tear them to pieces like they’re wasting your time, but half of the “rational” explanations you give are actually more far-fetched than just accepting it was a, a ghost or something. I mean for god’s sake John, we’re literally hiding from some kind of worm… queen… thing, how, how could you possibly still not believe!?”

“Of course, I believe. Of course I do. Have you ever taken a look at the stuff we have in Artefact storage? That’s enough to convince anyone. But, but even before that… Why do you think I started working here? It’s not exactly glamorous. I have… I’ve always believed in the supernatural. Within reason. I mean. I still think most of the statements down here aren’t real. Of the hundreds I’ve recorded, we’ve had maybe… thirty, forty that are… that go on tape. Now, those, I believe, at least for the most part.”

And this REALLY angers Martin because he had given a statement, he has asked for help and Jon hadn’t even taken a recorder or paper out when he had told him about his experience.

“Then why do you -“

“Because I’m scared, Martin!. Because when I record these statements it feels… it feels like I’m being watched.”

Martin can’t stop himself from muttering an angry.

“Not by any all seeing invisible tape possessing being, surely.”

“Martin I- I’m sorry I was a bit- premature in my judgement of your... statement. It felt like if I- if I admired there may be any truth to it, whatever was watching would... know somehow. The sceptisism, feigning ignorance. It just felt safer.”

“Well it wasn’t.”

“No it wasn’t. I’m not certain it’s the same for us, when I’m being watched, especially when reading statements I... I lose myself a bit.”

Beholding would laugh at this if it could. It said the same thing itself the first time around, but knowing what it knew now, how it had become itself (him, not it, him. he had been a man once, a human man-)

Well it was just ironic was all.

“Still, it has little baring in the present situation, it’s not my fault we’re going to be eaten by worms.”

—————-

When Martin got separated from Jon and Tim in the tunnels, he has no idea what to do.

So when a tape appears, followed by several others clearly making a trail, he decides screw it, he doesn’t have any better way out, and he follows.

There’s a room full of tapes and the body of Gertrude Robinson at the end of the trail.

Martins scream overlaps with tens of thousands of things screaming as one.

————-

After getting the statement of everyone but Sasha (she had immediately been taken to the hospital for her legs) there was just Jon and Martin.

Jon is thrown rather off guard by martins rambling apologies that he gives as he looks ready to cry, but does his best to both comfort him and get him to continue with the statement.

“I know. It’s fine, Martin. Everybody’s… Everyone’s fine… I just need you to tell me what happened next, and then it’s finished.”

“Alright. So, um, yeah, we got separated so I, I tried shouting, but you didn’t answer. The walls seemed to kill the sound dead and there wasn’t any echo. They were old stone, like, really old, and there was no light except my torch. I, I always keep my torch on me, ever since I moved into the Archives, so I had that, at least.

I wandered for a while. It’s a, it’s a maze down there, Jon. I don’t know how far the passages go. Maybe miles. I think it must be the old Millbank Prison, like Tim was saying before. I even found some stairs at one point, but I really didn’t want to go down them.

And then the- the tapes showed up, and I didn’t know else to do so I followed them-“

“And You’re certain that it was the tapes lead you to Gertrude?”

“I mean yeah. I wouldn’t lie to you about it Jon, I mean I know you’re skeptical but- god damn it. Finally decided to prove I’m not crazy?”

Jon looked over, and there was an extra recorder on the desk.

“Martin you didn’t-“

“Of course not, why would-“

And the tape turns itself on before Jon can come up with any reasonable explanation for any of this, and laughs.

“You don’t even know what this is about, do you?’”

Martin sneers at the tape a bit, treating this like it isn’t some horrifying paranormal experience.

“Is that all you can do, is say vaguely ominous things? We all almost DIED today and for all your talk about helping us you didn’t do anything!”

“‘So long as it isn’t the morgue’ ‘not my fault we’re going to be eaten by worms.’”

If Jon had to ascribe something to the tape, he’d say it sounded contrary like a defensive child.

“Wait hold on that was my voice-“

And Martin barely even looks at him because of his glare at the recorder.

“Yeah most of them seem to be. I think they’re recordings from the future or something. The foreknowledge from which would have certainly been NICE.”

“‘the way you looked at Sasha after the attack. You knew it wasn’t her’ ‘It hurt Sasha’ ‘-fetching drinks for the thing that murdered your friend without you even noticing’”

“And if the issue is that she was replaced like how you’re making it sound, then how do we still know she’s not?”

“‘You know who I mean. Tall, long hair, glasses’”

Martin let’s out a sigh and gives up.

“Fine. Thank you. I’d still like a heads up on the future, but thank you.”

Jon can’t help himself any more.

“Can someone explain to me what the HELL is going on?”

“‘Cut the bullshit’” the tape hisses back.

“EXCUSE me?”

“Well I mean, it has a point. I DID tell you all about it already. Gave a statement and everything remember? It’s a Spooky thing claiming wanting to help that haunts tape recorders and always watching me-“

“‘Sometimes I’m eating-‘“ the tape chimes in.

“-And that’s really all I know.”

Martin says, resolutely ignoring the implication of the thing eating who knows what.

“What and you’re just... okay with this? You trust this thing?”

“Of course not Jon I’m not a complete idiot, but there’s not much I can do to stop it. And even if it is lying about Sasha, I know it helped me at my flat so I guess it’s done at least something.”

The tape cheerfully offers up a very unconvincing reassurance.

“‘Thank you’ ‘Don’t worry, I’m cool. Good work-!’”

Jon sighs, and sets his face down on the desk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a headache to write but I’m really pleased with it. Jon now has to deal with spooky Jon, and it’s gonna be good.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the eye hazes Jon but like. In its defense, it is very funny.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: pls. Pls you have ten Magnus Archives works in progress and the same for the glass scientist. Please I’m begging you to work on those.
> 
> Me, reading last nights comments: HOHOHO SEROTONIN

Jon is frightened.

There is someone out there who killed Gertrude and most likely wants him dead too, and he doesn’t know what to do about it.

He worries and seethes, and then he remembers something.

There is also something out there, something that is apparently all seeing, and tied very closely to the institute.

He feels like a bloody idiot talking to something he can’t see but well, it can hardly be helped can it?

“Umm watching.... thing. Are you there?”

A recorder appears on his desk, and he jumps a bit at its appearance.

“Oh good. Yes. Since you claim to know everything, I was wondering if that includes Gertrude and anything about her disappearance?”

The tape waits for a long moment, seemingly thinking before answering.

“‘Everything. I know exactly where he is and who is with him.’”

“Who was it? Why did they do it? Are they going to kill me next? Are they-“

“‘I don’t think I’m going to tell you.’”

Jon doesn’t know how to respond to that for a second, as getting mad at an incorporeal monster is probably not wise, but he can’t help it. The thing is being incredibly petty and unfair.

“Why not?!? If you want us alive not being murdered would be a very good step in that direction!”

“‘enjoyed watching you scurry around. Desperately missing the point’ ‘you need to get better at seeing’”

“I can not believe this. You could solve a murder but you won’t because you enjoy watching me suffer and then you essentially call me stupid, is that is?”

The entire room suddenly filled with a feeling of immense mirth and a bit of a petty feeling and Jon let out a groan.

“I’ve never even met Gertrude how I am supposed to- Martin. MARTIN.”

He marches out of his office and into the Archives angrily and Martin blinks owlishly at him.

“.. Er yes Jon? What is it? What do you need?”

“Your stalker monster is being childish and unhelpful and you need to stop it immediately.”

Martin gives him a confused look as he laughs at Jon .

“ Stop that! I fail to see how there’s anything funny about this situation!”

“Sorry, sorry, it’s just- what makes you think I could do anything about it? What did it even do?”

“It told me it knew exactly who killed Gertrude but that it wasn’t going to tell me and then proceeded to imply that I needed to learn how to do my job-“

“‘Hiring you out of the blue as an archivist is pretty weird- I know you don’t just have a Library Science degree hanging around.’” The tape mutters at him.

“Excuse me that’s RUDE.”

Martin gives him a wide eyed look.

“You don’t have a degree or- or any qualifications for this job?”

Jon stutters a bit and blushes.

“That’s- that not the point, we aren’t um, putting my professional competence aside, by, by which I mean of COURSE I have a library science degree- Well it’s- you heard it yourself, it’s being rude and difficult, and itobviously likes you best, so make it you know, stop harassing me and actually share some useful answers for once if you don’t mind.”

Martin just stares at him.

“Well Martin? Are you- stop staring!”

“Sorry sorry it’s just- you’ve been calling me incompetent this entire time which, fair, I lied on my CV too, never even graduated high school had to drop out to get a job and support my mum, but all this time you didn’t know what you were doing either?”

“You LIED?!?”

“You didn’t? What degree did you have?”

“I went to Oxford Martin.”

“You know that’s not actually an answer.”

Jon mumbles something under his breath.

“What was that?”

“I said I dropped out my second year okay?!?”

Martin laughs again and Jon glares at him.

“Sorry, sorry, I’m not laughing at you-“

“Well then that was quite and interesting sneezing fit-“

“It’s just funny that at least half of the archive staff has lied and is under qualified. You think Tim and Sasha did too? Sasha was probably a body guard and Tim a model yeah?”

He bursts into a laughing fit again and Jon can’t help but smile a bit.

“Okay I see how that might be- it is certain a strange coincidence but I feel like we’re getting a little sidetracked here.”

“Well I don’t know what you expect me to do, scold it? I mean I guess I can try to put in a good word but it probably knows you more than me so there’s not much I can do. But I’ll ask.”

“Thank you Martin.”

He goes to leave, but stops at the door.

“You won’t- you won’t tell Tim or Sasha about this will you?”

Martin smiles at him, and he feels something twist in his chest that he resolutely ignores as yet another recorder clicks on. Nosey bastard.

“As long as you don’t tell Elias, I think we’re fine Jon.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The eye bullying Jon two electric boogaloo. Also it’s very bad at being a wingman.
> 
> Coming up next: cats

As Jon recorded a supplemental about breaking into Tims flat, a near by tape clicked on and he sighed. It had done his every time he had done a supplemental and he didn’t know why he bothered recording himself, if anything it probably encouraged the thing watching.

“Are you going to be of any help today, or are you just going to mock me?”

“‘I could, but I believe if I did so you would fail.’”

“I feel like that’s just a convenient excuse.’”

“‘You’re no fun’” it pouts to him.

“So you helping me wouldn’t actually upset anything would it?”

“‘I don’t want to bum you out or anything but yeah.’ ‘I lied’”

“Then why won’t you-“ Jon cut himself off mid sentence. This was not the first time they had had this conversation and he knew how it was going to end.

“‘I have a good time.’”

“And what,” Jon hisses back at the tape “is so fun about seeing me run around worried for my life?”

“‘Oh nothing, just my own hubris.’”

“But what does that MEAN!?!?”

“‘Look, I don’t have time for this’” it tells him, and then does nothing that would possibly show it might be busy or that it had any interest in doing anything besides watching him. 

And then suddenly, Jon feels it shove something into his mind, a piece of information, and the room is filled with a fondness and a weird sense of urgency at this fact.

_ Martin writes mediocre poetry. _

He blinks in confusion.

Why would it tell him THAT of all things? Is it trying to tell him something? Is it trying to throw him off the scent? Is it working with Martin to hide something?

He immediately makes plans to break into Martins flat the next day to look for clues.

Beholding does it’s best impression of a facepalm despite the fact it has neither a face nor a palm. It should’ve known better. It doesn’t know why it fucking bothers.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which a quest for cat cuddles is embarked on.

Martin Blackwood was not in a good mood, and this simply was no acceptable.

The day before, he had called his mother, which never goes well but still. Beholding was tempted to throughly traumatize her.

(It refrained, mostly, but if she had been hit by a vision of her son sobbing in the aftermath of the call, well it was only fair she feel guilty for what she was doing to him, wasn’t it?)

Beholding only knew two ways really to destress properly, and since the main one was Martin, it had to use other alternatives.

It pulls at him, trying to drag him from the Archives and lead him to a very specific place, before it remembers that Georgie doesn’t know Martin and there is only so far Martin will go at its insistence. Breaking into someone’s home while they are still there and then possibly stealing their cat was something it was reasonably sure he wouldn’t do, so it starts pulling at Jon too, and they meet in the hallway.

Jon looks rather annoyed at being pulled away from his work, but beholding knows it was far easier to drag him along than Martin, he is far to curious for his own good.

“Is it pushing you too?”

“Yes, it seems to be. Though I wish it wouldn’t during work hours.”

“‘What we do is research’” a tape informs him, apparently trying to justify their field trip.

“Fine fine, let’s go.”

Jon and Martin awkwardly keep walking where beholding pulls them, Jon both far to curious, suspicious, and annoyed about leaving work for a mysterious location, and Martin still too spent from the previous day to attempt small talk.

When they get to the street, Jon freezes and goes to turn around.

“Nope.”

Martin gives him a quizzical look. “What, what is it? Do you know where we’re going?”

“Yes and I absolutely refuse to bring her into it. Or bug her needless to be honest.”

“Who Jon?”

“My ex girlfriend.”

Ah. Well that is not what Martin wanted to hear. 

“Wait so that means you’re-“

“Bi yes.”

Oh. OH. That was a VERY pleasant surprise.

Martins thoughts are interrupted by approximately five tapes materializing and Jon trying to glare at them all simultaneously.

“Why do you want us at Georgie’s anyway? Martin doesn’t even KNOW her.”

The tapes honest to god PURRS at them and Jon’s glare becomes incredibly indignant.

“You brought us to my ex girlfriends house to see her CAT?!? You- you don’t even have a body! What could we possibly add to the experience?!?”

The tape whines a bit as tapes are known to do and Martins heart kind of goes all soft. Both the purring and the whining are rather cute.

Jon huffs and goes to turn away, and beholding immediately makes him forget how to stand. It usually only deals in handing out information, but it can from time to time take it away again.

Martin helps Jon up hastily and has joined in his glaring.

“That is not an okay thing to do to people. Are you alright Jon?”

“Yes yes, fine. As apparently we have no choice but to do this, I suppose we might as well get it over with. I can’t say that I don’t look forward to seeing the admiral again, and me and Georgie aren’t in any type of bad terms, but I have no clue how I’m going to explain this.”

Martin lets out a snort.

“Oh I’m sure it’s going to be incredibly easy, just say ‘hi again, I know we haven’t talked for awhile but see, I wanted to show my coworker your cat so if you could just let us in-‘“

There’s a moment of silence where Martin thinks he might have somehow overstepped a line, and then a smile finds itself on Jon’s face and he barks out a short laugh.

He’s not used to seeing Jon smile. It’s a little creepy to be honest.

“Yes Martin, I’m sure that will go really well I don’t know why I didn’t think of it. God she’s going to thing I’m on drugs or something”

Martin lets out his own laugh at the idea of anyone ever looking at Jon and assuming he did drugs. Jon looks like someone who has done nothing but in file paper work his entire life.

Three more tapes have appeared since Martin did his Jon impression. It’s a little weird that the amount randomly fluctuates so much. 

The moment does come to an end though, and Jon knocks on the door.

There’s a sound of a few things being moved around and then someone talking.

The door opens and there’s a woman who looks like she could deadlift Martin holding tea. 

“Who is- oh Jon! What brings you here? And with a friend no less?”

She seems very gleeful at the idea of Jon having a friend, but Martin almost physically flinches. He would very much LIKE this statement to be accurate, but he knows Jon can barely stand him. 

Jon stands there for a minute fumbling over his words before the woman gets a blank look in her eyes and drops her tea.

“Georgie? Are you- okay?”

“Oh my god. Jon.”

“Yes?”

She looks quite a bit off balance as she speaks. 

“How did you manage to get yourself into a situation where an Eldritch fear god stalked you and forced you to come and see the Admiral?”

“I- to be fair, it’s stalking Martin not me, you’d have to ask him. I’m sorry did you say Eldritch fear god?”

“Yeah, it just dumped a bunch of knowledge into my head to get to my fucking cat. There’s fourteen of them apparently.”

Jon looks at her with interest.

“It told you this? It never tells me ANYTHING. Did it maybe tell you who killed my predecessor, because I have been asking it for awhile now-“

The tape YOWLS at the three of them, clearly upset that the main reason for bestowing the terrible knowledge of the universe on Georgie was forgotten, i.e. being able to see the Admiral as soon as humanly possible.

“Don’t you think there’s more important things at hand right now?” Jon asks the tape.

The tape does not dignify that with an answer, and goes from a cats yelling to agonized screams of pain. Jon’s it sounds like.

Georgie quickly lets them in to see the main attraction, who keeps glancing between Jon and the tape with a confused look, seeming unable to decide something before settling on just going toward the closest one which is the tape, and causes Jon to mutter “traitor” at him under his breath. The Admiral wastes no time to deposit his full body weight on the tape which gently rumbles back at him, and says a quick “‘I love you too,’” before disappearing so that he’ll say hello to Jon for a moment.

After all, beholding might not like Jon, and it might be a monster, but it isn’t CRUEL. It was far from demented enough to deny someone the affection of a cat.

When Jon has the Admiral, the questions stop for a second so he can talk to him, and Martin feels about ready to combust from how cute Jon is with a cat, and very purposely does not squeal at the sight.

Neither of them notice the new tape recorders that have appeared next to them.

Beholding doesn’t let Jon have him to long.After all, this was mainly for Martins benefit. The Admiral has always taken awhile to warm up to new people, but cats were naturally curious and usually pretty good at knowing when someone need them, so it takes hardly any pushing to drive the admiral into Martins lap.

With the cat gone, Jon focuses back on asking for answers that it hadn’t given Georgie, so it turns its attention solely on Martin cooing at the Admiral in Polish.

Beholding tries to convince itself that ten recordings of Martin snuggling a cat is NOT to much and is definitely something that will be objectively useful in the future. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise actual plot will happen relatively soon but like. The idea of an Eldritch fear god just wanting to see a cat was gold, I couldn’t not write it.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jon doesn’t understand that some doors are allowed for a reason

When Helen comes to make her statement, beholding doesn’t do anything to stop Michael from taking her.

It sees Micheal come in to antagonize Jon, and lets him have his fun with him a bit, but he never lets Micheal mark him. 

It wants Jon as marked as little as possible, even if it does enjoy his confusion.

So as soon as he tells the Archivist that he has taken Helen, he sends out a tape.

“‘He cared for her. He trusted her. And she fed him to me. She-‘“

Micheal freezes, and his face twists, upset at the reminder of what he is, and he leaves through his door without another word.

“I- I- you saved me. Why?”

“‘I intervened, to save you before. I, I’m interested in what happens now.’”

“But- I thought you hated me?”

The tape doesn’t answer back.

“You- you knew it was coming, you could have stopped it but you just- you let it EAT Helen how could you do that? Do you just- do you not care about anyone but the Archives? Why??”

He’s so wrong it thinks, his problem had always been that it cared to much. It understands Micheal in a way it never could before, and it was already so close to the eye before it had become, but Micheal had had little preparation before becoming. It can not imagine the misery of such a torn existence, being beholden to something that you weren’t.

It cared so much, so it lets Micheal eat Helen, because he/it/she/they said Helen was better than Micheal, and so it would allow that to happen.

But it can’t tell Jon this, so it instead tells him

“‘I’ve always thought that a man’s eating habits were his own private business’”

Jon sneers at it, but that’s fine.

It was far from the worst thing it had ever done to itself after all.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What’s this? A chapter that doesn’t focus on Jon and Martin? Smh

Elias was... not having a good day.

He had a major headache, and beholding was being rather... chatty as of late. When he first felt it become more powerful, come closer to this world, he has been elated, but it largely seemed to ignore him outside of sending him random facts.

_Catfish have more tastebuds than any other animal_ it told him.

“Yes, that’s wonderful, but I want to check in on Jon.”

_ The name Wendy was invented for the story Peter Pan. _

That was another thing it had done, was pick and choose what he could see. Now, this was his god, he was happy to listen to it of course of course of course, but it wouldn’t let him see his ARCHIVIST, the fulcrum of his plans.

“ Fine, then let me see Martin, he’s always hovering over Jon.”

At this the thing FLOODED him, sending thing after thing to him all at once endlessly for minutes on end.

_The suicide king is the only one without a mustache_

_Dreamt is the only English word that ends in mt_

_You are 13.8 % more likely to die on you birthday than any other day_

_Dragon flies can’t walk_

_Ravens can tell when they’re being watched_

He almost passes out, and manages to get out a quite plea of “stop”.

_The large intestine is 1.5 meters long_ beholding informs him, and then goes quite, leaving him completely blind from anything more than his own two eyes.

————————

“MARTIN!” Jon shouted from his office. “I NEED YOU IN MY OFFICE TO TALK FOR A MOMENT.”

As soon as Martin disappears into Jon’s office Tim rolls over to Sasha’s desk and does an eyebrow waggle.

“You think the lady who went in there is their marriage counselor?”

Sasha laughs and smacks him foot with one of her crutches.

“Tim!”

“I’m just saying, she never left, Jon called Martin to his office to ‘talk,’ and they’ve been acting weird lately.”

“They have been giving me odd looks,” Sasha attests “but clearly she’s not they’re marriage counselor.”

“Oh? If they’re so happy then why does Jon always snap at Martin? Tim asks, leaning in closer. Sasha always has the best conspiracies.

“Well that ones obvious, it’s so no one suspects that they’re in a work relationship, you can get into serious trouble for those.”

Tim nods sagely.

“Obviously, I don’t know how I didn’t think of that. They both probably have a humiliation kink or something, adds more to the relationship. So where does this leave the mystery woman?”

Sasha pretends to think about it for a moment.

“Did you see how she was dressed? Clearly a real estate agent.”

“Sash, with our paychecks, in this economy? Please. Besides, don’t you go to the homes instead of having people come to you?”

“She’s also their adoption agent.”

“Of course! Trying to find one of those houses with the perfect room to convert to a nursery.”

They both laugh for a moment before Tim interjects.

“Seriously though, there’s something up with those two they’ve been acting... weird. I swear I walked in to Jon threatening a tape recorder the other day. I’m worried about them, they’re acting fishy. And don’t say they’re secretly part of the mob, I’ve already scratched that out.”

“Are you sure they aren’t just, you know, jumpy after the whole Prentiss thing?”

“Yeah I mean look, me and you went through the same thing, but you don’t see us sneaking around in the middle of the day and leaving work. I mean none of them broke any bones, and they didn’t get wormed anymore than I did.”

“Jon left work? Our Jon? No way.”

“That’s what I said!”

“Then there’s definitely something wrong, we need to check into this.”

“Glad you agree.”

“Unless,” Sasha says “they were sneaking out for a quick snog?”

Tim pushes her and she laughs.

———————

When Jon finishes catching Martin up to speed on the whole Micheal, beholding not caring about anyone outside the Archives situation, he walks him back to the general archives, only to find Tim and Sasha rooting around through Martins desk.

They freeze as Martin sputters at them.

“I- what? What are you doing in my desk??”

“Sasha threw a pen at me and we’re trying to find it?” Tim hesitantly offers.

“It- my desk was closed! There’s no way for it to have rolled into the drawer!”

“If was a really good throw?”

“I’m just here to read your poetry,” Sasha says “it’s not half bad.”

Martin starts his full body blush that he is prone to and Jon tugs on him.

“Never mind, a new pressing non suspicious matter has come up that we need to immediately discuss, you two, stop looking through Martins things.”

The door slams behind Jon and Martin again, and Tim and Sasha share a look.

Definitely up to something.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beholding tells Jon to chill.
> 
> Three people learn new things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So college starts back up tomorrow meaning I’m going to be more busy, but my goal is to still update each fic at least once a month (making for five updates a month depending on if you read my other TMA stories) I’ll try to get more out of I can but no promises.

There is only so much pressure a man can take, and Jon, after listening to tape talking about Trevor Herbert, snaps at Martin.

Jon doesn’t even get as far as learning Martin lies on his CV, because the eye is very protective of him and snaps right back at Jon. 

“So that’s it. Just a misunderstanding.”

“Yes. You seem to be taking this kind of personal–“

“Because you keep LYING to me, Martin!”

and then there’s a hiss of static.

More accurately, the room is flooded in static, drowning Jon out and causing them both a little pain, which certainly helps to catch their attention.

“‘Just stop talking- I’m sick of you’ ‘have been rather unfair to them. I just hope they haven’t entirely lost their respect for me.’”

“Well then what would you have me do?!?” Jon pleads desperately.

“‘Anything! Anything that wasn’t turning into a paranoid lunatic would have been fine! Anything that showed you could actually do your job!’”

“I’m sorry if I’m worried about someone wanting me dead, you certainly seemed to encourage my paranoia before, why does it matter now?!”

“.........’I admit it’s partially my fault for letting it get this bad’” It hesitantly admits.

“Well then, why stop now hm? Are you- am I getting to close, are you scared of the chase ending?”

“‘Everyone’s avoiding me. They’ve taken to working farther away from me than normal, and when I call them for any reason, they’re always keen to leave as soon as possible.’ ‘Goes far beyond an unhealthy work environment’”

There’s a long moment of silence in the room before Jon let’s out a quiet “oh.”

“I’m- you’re afraid I’m going to hurt them in some way aren’t you? Martin and I are your main contacts and you can’t actually use that if I’m not- not talking to anyone. Have I really been that bad?”

Jon startles when Martin lets out a little “Yeah you have been.” He’d entirely forgotten Martin was there.

“I- I’m sorry Martin, I’ll try to- to be more fair to you all.” He goes back to addressing the tape. “Does this mean you’re going to tell me who killed Gertrude?”

It doesn’t answer and Jon lets out a hiss of frustration.

“How do you expect me to act calmly if I’m constantly afraid of being killed!?!”

“‘No one wants to kill you you pompous idiot.’”

“But I thought-“

“You know how hard it would be to replace you.’ ‘most important thing isn’t who killed her, but why.’”

“That.... does actually make a lot more sense than someone is out to kill every Archivist. I still- I’m still frustrated that you won’t tell me who killed her, and I don’t entirely trust you but. Thank you.”

————————-

Theoretically the eye is everywhere, and can do millions of things at once.

Theoretically.

If it happened to get invested and turn all its focus on one thing, it’s control might slip a bit.

Enough that Elias could watch in, and that conversation was VERY enlightening.

He learns that this thing seems more sentient than most the other powers. He knew this already, but not quite to what extent.

He knows that cares for the archival staff and despite seeming to have an immense dislike for Jon is VERY invested in the state of his interpersonal relationships.

He knows it knows the future, which has never been an ability of beholding before.

Things start to snap into place.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hello Jon, here’s how this is going to go.”

As soon as everyone leaves the building, Elias makes his move.

“Hello Jon,” He says “here’s how this is going to go.”

————————-

It doesn’t mean to do it, it isn’t trying to plead for help or anything but-

Martin can feel it. Beholding is incredibly angry and frightened.

It probably wasn’t wise to walk into something his supernatural monster stalker was frightened of, something where it would be trying to fight against anything else.

He finds himself going toward the institute anyway. He hadn’t had a chance to go far after all. 

——————-

“As it seems I clearly succeeded in my efforts, this might be unnecessary but well, I am not a patient man you know, so what you’re going to do is let me see everything again. you will show me exactly how you got marked and managed this before so that I can speed up the process. If that doesn’t suit your liking, fine.”

He could feel Jons disbelief and hesitance at this.

Ah yes, very good. He really did understand how this works now.

“Of course, I can’t promise what will happen to anyone else should you not. You are clearly trying to avoid getting marked this time for who knows what reason, you presumably had the world to do with what you pleased, and I’m afraid that even if you do not wish to take advantage, I will not lose it. So you let me move forward, or there might soon be a vacancy in the Archivist position.”

The beholding simply seems unimpressed at this threat.

“‘There are worse things that could happen’” it mutters 

“And then I can properly promote Martin to replace you.”

At this, it RAGES.

Jonah should not have forgotten who his god was, because his god certainly did not forget what it was, and it reaches into his mind, making him watch all the suffering he has caused, goes through the contents of his brain, and RIPS them out.

The person inhabiting the body no longer needs to lose his eyes to remain, nor to stay head of the institute. 

Those were its rules, and it can chose to stop enforcing them whenever it pleases.

“He’s- He’s gone” Elias Bouchard says, his first words in over twenty years.

And then he passes out.

A throat clears itself from the doorway, and beholding is free enough now to focus his attentions on Martin.

Oh dear.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which an identity is revealed and a choice is made

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to wait to post this, but I’ve literally had it written for at least seven chapters now (there was still some editing and stuff done recently) and if I don’t post it now I’ll die so here go wild

“What did- what was that?”

Martin felt it (Jon. Christ, that thing had been Jon the entire time) hesitantly send him a wave of concern.

“I’m fine I just- Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you tell ANY of us you were Jon?”

Defensiveness rolled from it.

“‘No. — not me.’”

Martin felt some defiant anger of his own.

“Look, I’m not an idiot, I know that wasn’t just some- some ridiculous power play or something, I know you’re Jon.”

“‘When that person was -, I was something else, and now I am -, and that person is gone’”

“Ok so you’ve changed but that doesn’t mean that you’re-“

For what was probably the first time ever the tape cut him off.

“‘It  hurts. Being like this. It’s- it hurts to exist. To- be here’”

That stopped Martin cold.

“It... it hurts? What does it- I don’t- is there anything I can do to help?”

“‘There’s no feeling, but the no feeling hurts-cold.’ ‘Don’t think I was meant to be- don’t think I have a choice BUT to be-‘ ‘the angles cut me when I try to think-‘“

“I’m sorry. But that- I don’t know how pretending to be someone else helps.”

A frustration filled the room and Martin had a feeling that he was rather missing the point it (he) was trying to make.

“‘-was me. But I don’t- I don’t think I liked it- hurt a lot of people-never think who I am outside that- i-i can’t hear the blood anymore. I-I don’t know who I am- I just know that I- I dont like who I was- don’t want to be her again- want to be better. Y-You know what I thought, when I woke up here? I thought this was hell. I wa- I was dead, and I was in hell. And I - I knew I deserved it.’ ‘I feel.... wrong- I just want to feel better’ ‘felt such guilt- realized she wasn’t going to stop doing it. So she decided to stop feeling guilty.’ ‘I was not always- I do not want to BE-”

And Martin finally understood.

“It’s not- it’s not the whole spooky fear god thing, being YOU is what hurts isn’t it?”

It (he) sent Martin a guilty confirmation.

“‘I drown‘ ‘Nothing hurts here... it’s just quiet’”

“How much of you is still there Jon?”

“‘I don’t know if I can control it. I don’t know if it’s even me doing it-‘ ‘I think I still care- it’s hard to tell sometimes how much do I actually care and how much is just feeling I should care?’ ‘Imagine being a hand that can conceive of itself, having impulses shot through you, being moved and clenched by some unseen mind, but never knowing the reasoning for your own actions, or even if you’re just some thoughtless reflex- horrid.’”

“That sounds. That sounds terrible. But you still- you have a choice Jon. You’ve been hurting people, you’ve hurt me and Jon and who knows who else, and you don’t get to just run away and pretend you aren’t you anymore because you feel bad about it. You’re- you might not be human anymore, but if you’re still you then that means you have a choice. YOU decide what kind of monster you want to be, and hiding from it is still a choice. Just... please.”

There was an uncomfortably long moment of silence until-

“‘One thing I’ve learned,- is that we all get a choice. Even if it doesn’t feel like one.’”

Martin let out a little laugh and put a hand on the nearest recorder, the closest he could get to touching this version of Jon.

“Yes, exactly. Thank you.”

They sit in a content moment until Martin hesitantly breaks the silence.

“Jon? Do you, I mean that is my Jon, does he know? About you?”

“‘Don’t tell Jon. Please.’”

“Why?”

“‘And how do you think Jon’s going to react to that explanation, hm? You think he’ll accept it calmly? Come through with a well-considered, rational response?’” 

Martin laughs a bit at this.

“No, but I think- I think he has a right to know. He’s- you’re both him yeah?”

“‘I’ve listened to the tapes, and I know what they talk about behind my back, how much they’ve… suffered because of this place. Because of me.’”

“Ok, fine. I won’t tell him yet but- you need to at some point. And you’re going to tell him who killed Gertrude.”

The tape whines and Martin chides it (he thinks the tapes are still an it? They’re and extension and you wouldn’t call a hand a He right?)

“No, you’re telling him! It’s just- cruel really the way you’ve been treating him! Why would you do that to yourself anyway?!?”

“‘constantly looking back at my past self and thinking, what an idiot. How the hell could he have done such an obviously stupid thing? How was I surprised it went so badly?’”

Martin laughs.

“Yeah I- I guess that’s fair, we’ve all done that but I think most of would want to, you know, help out past selves instead of making it worse?”

“‘fine, I’ll go, then.’”


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which means of communications are explained, a wingman is had, and a murder solved

The second Martin wakes up, he’s aware of the weight of Jon’s gaze on him.

He seems to perk up upon seeing Martin is awake which is cute and makes him think of a dog a bit.

The room fills with Edwardian offense and Martin blushes, suddenly remembering that Jon can probably see into his mind now.

“Well if you don’t want to hear it don’t peek inside my head, it’s rude. Speaking of it’s kind of... creepy? That you were just watching me sleep? And I need to get ready so if you could just. Go away for a bit?”

“‘Good to see you’” he protests.

“I- well that’s- that’s nice Jon thank you” he says as he tries to pick his way through his room without stepping on the myriad of tape recorders that have appeared over night “but I need to change and everything and I’m not sure if you remember this but that’s not something humans are comfortable doing in front of each other.”

The tapes whine, but the gaze leaves him for awhile and Martin lets out a heavy sigh.

This is- this whole thing is ridiculous. An Eldritch fear god being obsessed with him he could maybe work with. Jon being a monster he could work with. Jon being nice to him and caring about him would send him into a spiral of gay panic, but he could live with it.

But all three? Jon had been watching him sleep for Christ’s sake, what was he supposed to do with that?

He gets to getting ready, he knows Jon won’t want to wait long.

————————

“What I don’t get,” Martin tells the tape as he brushes his teeth “is why me. I get why not Jon but you hated me back now. And what’s with all the extra tapes? Don’t think I didn’t notice those randomly appearing whenever Jon and I talk.”

There’s a long moment of silence as Jon clearly tries to think of how to put this into words.

“‘To try and remember- I was lonely before. I know that. I had friends, at least I used to, but I lost them. Or they lost me.- the prospect of being genuinely loved?- A need as much as a feeling. Love- consumes you in all ways.’”

Martin chocked a bit at that.

“Love? You don’t mean-“

“‘I really loved you you know’” it confirms 

“And you forgot how to do it so you-you’re trying to set me and Jon up to what, watch us?”

“‘Sings that I am a home.’ ‘it feels right’ ‘y-you and me, together’ ‘I don’t think that can happen naturally for me an-anymore, so I’m making a decision.’”

“Christ that’s- ok. We can- we’ll talk about this later I guess.

Me though? Really?”

“‘ I need you’”

It’s said with such conviction that Martin can’t deny it.

“Right then. First things first we get Jon out of his paranoid state then I get a Supernatural wingman who is also the person I’m trying to end up with. Great. Totally normal.”

—————————-

Jon isn’t quite sure what to think when he walks into his office to find Martin whispering to a tape recorder.

“Oh here he comes, remember what we talked about and don’t-“

“Martin? Why are you in my office?”

“I think you’re going to like this. So I talked with, well you know, and it’s finally going to tell us who killed Gertrude.”

Jon couldn’t speak for a moment.

“I- sorry you got it tell you?”

“Well it agreed to anyway, hasn’t yet we wanted to wait for you. Go ahead, ask.”

“Who killed Gertrude Robinson?”

“‘Think Sims killed her’”

Jon sputters at this.

“I did NO such thing I thought you were-“

“Jon. Let me handle this.”

Martin glares at the tape like a parent scolding a child might.

“We have talked about this.”

“‘In my defense, it is still quite funny.’”

“To bad, he deserves to not be paranoid all the time.”

Jon can not believe that Martin is talking to an eldritch fear god like this. And for HIM.

It’s quite sweet actually.

A tape appears right behind him and falls to the ground and suddenly Martin is blushing for some reason.

“I’m- no you aren’t distracting us.”

“‘Fine.’ ‘So. For the avoidance of any doubt. I killed Gertrude Robinson because she intended to destroy the Archives.’”

“ELIAS did it?!? Thank you for telling me finally I suppose but what the hell can I do with that?” 

“‘He’s gone.’”

“You KILLED HIM?”

Martin thankfully cuts into the conversation for beholding sake.

“We actually- I walked in on it, I think I can explain it without the- without harassing you.”

Martin likes lofi retro things, and had been worrying about him, beholding informs. It’s not like he didn’t know he was worried before, but now with the extent of the feeling being known-

He wants to know what happened desperately, but he’s not in any danger now and Martin is a puzzle he’s just realizing he doesn’t understand.

“That would be... nice. Perhaps you can catch me up during our lunch breaks.”

Several more tapes appear and Jon amends his statement.

“You know, so we can get back to our jobs.”

“I- yeah! That sounds- that sounds great! Lunch it is then haha.”

Martin quickly leaves the room blushing and Jon swears he sees him do a fist pump.

He wonders what that’s all about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Btw Beholding isn’t trying to be a creepy it’s just very excited that Martin like trusts him and such and genuinely has forgotten how human social norms work


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about this chapter, but a lot needed to happen before the next one and I decided to just shove it all together. Will try and update soon. Anyway, enjoy.

Beholding loves Basira and Daisy, he really does.

Which is why he makes sure to keep them away from the institute at any costs.

He also gives Basira a few tapes, statements from Daisy. Particularly the one from the buried, removing the parts with Jon of course so it can’t be traced back to him.

He hopes that it is enough to help her, because he remembers those withdrawals, and he doesn’t know if she would have committed had she not been stuck in the buried. He knows he wouldn’t have stopped if Basira hadn’t threatened to kill him the second he slipped up, and he knows that’s not a threat Basira will use against Daisy.

If he has to, he will send Jon and Daisy back into the buried to save her, and her many victims.

He just hopes it doesn’t come to that.

————————-

At the same time that Basira finds her tapes, Tim finds his own, statements about the circus, about something called the unknowing, and how Gerard and Gertrude where in Toulouse looking how to stop it.

All of these are of course snippets out of context, which is obviously suspicious, and he is annoyed that Jon seemingly had found this information about a possible apocalypse and don’t share it with anyone.

He doesn’t have time to stop and argue though. It is the middle of the night, but he starts packing his bags and heads out immediately.

He does make sure to text Sasha, and turns on his location. Just in case.

————————

Somewhere in America, two pairs of hunters eyes refuse to focus on a book, and they forget it, leaving it behind in a hotel room.


	17. Chapter 17

Jon thought that things were on good terms now with the revel of Gertrude’s murderer. He thought the beholding cared about him a little, or at least cared about MARTIN enough to take care of Jon for him.

Apparently not, he thinks, as he is currently tied to a chair being moisturized by an evil clown.

It at least let’s him know things are going alright at the institute. That, as much as he’s angry, is appreciated.

————————————

“I can not fucking believe you. I know you have this whole self hate thing or whatever but this is-“ Martin takes a breath to compose himself “Jon, I need you to tell me where Jon is.”

The tape in front of him only plays sounds of Jon trying to talk through a gag.

“ Jonathan!  As great as it is to know he’s alive at least, that is NOT what I asked for. I need a LOCATION.”

“‘I will say nothing further’”

Martin starts anxiously pacing the room.

“What is- why. Just why.”

“‘Helen is better than Micheal.’”

“That doesn’t mean anything to me! I don’t know who that is!”

Beholding very hesitantly brushes against Martins mind.

“What? What could you possibly want from me right now that isn’t already obvious?”

“‘Should know what’s going on’”

“Well you don’t get to just have my brain waves or whatever while Jon’s missing! You want to know what’s going on? I’m pissed is what’s going on! For gods sake Jon you are-“

“‘Don’t need to read your mind’”

“Wait you- you don’t? Then what- are you asking to put something in?”

“‘Just wanted to ask’”

“Alright, fine. I don’t like the idea of you in there, but if it’ll help Jon then fine.”

It floods him, shows Martin Michaels statement and subsequent death.

He’s wiping tears from his eyes by the end.

“So that’s why you’re- why you’re doing this. To throw him off balance so Helen can take over?”

“‘feelings that shouldn’t have been his overwhelm me. Lost my way.’ ‘Helen is better than Micheal.’”

“Right. Then can you- can I at least tell Jon that he’s going to be okay? Have you send him at tape?”

It decides to allow this. The boredom had been the worst part of the whole ordeal.

It communicates this to Martin, and he insists on spending the next hour making them.


	18. Chapter 18

When Jon finally, FINALLY gets to leave that place of spooky clowns or whatever, the distortion drops him almost right on top of Martin, and immediately leaves.

They were, fortunately or unfortunately depending how you looked at it, now in a pile on the floor with Jon on top of Martin, noses almost touching.

“Hi.”

“Hi.”

“You’re back.”

“Yes. Thank you for the tapes by the way I- They really helped me stay sane during that whole.... thing.”

Several tapes click on near by and Jon tries to (shakily, as he just spent a good month not walking) get up, before just sort of... falling back into Martin again, who now has to be the one to wiggle out from under him and help him up.

“Thank you.”

“Yeah.”

Jon awkwardly clears his throat and turns to glare at a tape.

“What the hell was letting me get kidnapped about.” He grumbles.

It repeats what it’s already said so many times, but there isn’t much it can do to explain itself differently.

“‘Helen is better than Micheal.’”

“You let me get kidnapped by clowns for a month so that the thing threatening my life could steal someone’s face?”

“‘’not “wearing” anything, Archivist. - Things change. People change. It happens.’”

“Still. Didn’t need to kidnap me.”

“Suppose it makes sense,” Martin says “I mean it’s not- you know what it is, of course it would be sympathetic to other spooky things.”

“Well I at least would like a warning if anything like this going to happening again. Is everyone else safe at least?”

“I think? Sasha’s just in the other room but Tim went missing about the same time as you did.”

At that exact time a door magically appears again and Tim comes out.

“What the hell is going on.”

“Uhhhhhh-“

“Why did this spooky lady just kidnap me, whats with all the tapes, and Jon, why the FUCK didn’t you tell us about the up and coming potential apocalypse.”

“Oh I’m Helen, it’s a favor for an old friend,” she pats the nearest recorder.

“I’m sorry did you say apocalypse?”


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two more chapters after this guys!!! I’m so excited

“Sorry,” Jon says “but did you say the  apocalypse ?!?”

“Yes? You’re the one who was keep  us in the dark about this whole thing.”

“No I- I didn’t- hold on,” Jon says, turning to yell at the nearest tape “there’s going to be an apocalypse and you didn’t us?”

“‘really doesn’t matter’”

“It’s the end of the world, of course it matters!”

Tim looses some of his energy at this interaction.

“Jon, you are aware you’re talking to a tape recorder yes?”

“Oh yes that is, I think Martin would be best at explaining that, it’s more of his thing?”

“Riiiight. Martin?”

“Yeah hold on, I think Sasha should be here for this too.”

Helen, who is still there for who knows what reason, opens a door at that moment.

“No need, shes right here!”

Sasha does NOT look happy to have had to travel through demonic nonsensical hallways, but at the same time she seems hesitant to leave, like she wants to try and make sense of them.

“Hi, sorry what’s going on?”

“She was only a room or two away,” Jon mutters bitterly “we could’ve just, I don’t know, yelled or something.”

Helen pouts at him.

“Well that’s hardly any fun now is it Jonathan?”

“You’re a lot more cocky than you were an hour ago.”

“That’s because an hour ago, no one was pouring their memories into my head! I must say Archivist, I am disappointed in your dislike of the end of the world, rather ruins a lot of fun I could’ve had. You’re quite the spoil sport.”

The tape lets out a hiss of static at this.

“Hi, sorry,” Tim says “but I need someone to explain what the FUCK is going on right now.”

Martin lets out an exasperated sigh.

“Alright, lets get this over with. For the last.... two years or so? Theres like fourteen or some fear god things and this one has kind of been... stalking me?”

“You’re kidding. I mean, the fourteen fear whatever checks out with what Gerry told me, but one, I don’t think they’re supposed to be sentient, and two, there is no way if they are they’re good enough to help us.”

“Sorry,” Sasha says “Gerry? Like, hot goth Gerry?”

“Yeah. He was pretty cool actually, dead but like in a tragic “free me from this existence prison!” Way, so I did.”

“‘chose the option I thought might keep Gerry safe.’” The tape chirps happily, and Tim jumps in surprise.

“JESUS-“

“We’ve gotten off topic,” Sasha says “why youspecifically Martin?”

Martin looks away awkwardly.

“Couldn’t say really.”

“‘A good friend.’”

“REALLY good friends, just adorable together” Helen says.

All of them but Martin, who is trying very hard to not react to the idea of him being with... the tape? resolutely ignore her and she pouts.

“That’s it then? It likes you because you’re just... friendly? There’s no other criteria?”

The volume lowers itself drastically.

“‘sort of cute.’”

Martin finally looses his battle to not react, his face growing darker and he lets out a little embarrassed squeak.

Tim burst out laughing at this despite the serious situation and Jon mutters “objectively yes” to quite for anyone but the tape to pick up.

“You’re- are you seriously telling me an eldritch monster just fell in love with you?”

“I don’t- maybe? That’s- we’re getting off topic. It talks through statements and other recordings from the future, alternate timeline, whatever, and it’s been helping us but I don’t know why it wouldn’t tell us about an apocalypse.”

“‘Doesn’t matter.’”

Tim looks ready to snap at the recorder for that and Sasha decides to step in.

“Before jumping right into being mad, how about we actually ask WHY it thinks it doesn’t matter.”

“‘Thank you’ ‘Every ritual tied itself so closely to a single power as to render itself impossible. They could bring their patron close, but never sever it from the others, and eventually it would be violently pulled back into the place next to reality where they dwell.’”

“It isn’t real? Then what was the point of sending me on a wild goose chase to try and end it?”

“‘I’m gonna hurt the thing that stole my brother and wrecked my life.’”

“One, you do NOT get to use that against me, two, why would you care if I get my vengeance or not?”

“‘Tim- dead’”

“And why should a spook care about my well being?”

“‘Had friends- lost them’”

Tim opens his mouth to say something that would be no doubt scathing, but Martin cuts him off.

“It’s- the tapes actually seem to care a lot about the people in the Archives Tim, they’ve been helping us. They saved Sasha’s life.”

Sasha, jerks at this and looks at the tape.

“Was that- are you what pushed me to jump out that window?”

The room fills with a sort of bashful, guilty affirmative, remembering what it did to her legs. 

“‘When Prentiss attacked, something else, it… it… it replaced her-’ ‘Of course the table was binding it.’”

“Right then, I believe you. Thank you. Though I resent the idea that anyone could replace me.”

It’s a poor attempt to lighten the mood but the tape at the very least snickers.

“So,” Jon asks “what exactly is the plan of action?”

“Hey, it’s my revenge and you two held back knowing about weird flirty monster recorders. So what’s the plan?”

Jon rolls his eyes.

“‘get to burn some stuff, so that’s cool!’”

“Hell yeah” Tim says.

“Oh I am so on board with this” Sasha says.

“Arson?” Martin says with far to much glee at the prospect “we get to do arson?”

“Good lord I’m surrounded by pyromaniacs, what is wrong with you people” Jon mutters.

A hand that is far to big rests on Jon’s shoulders unexpectedly.

“Come on Archivist, you weren’t even marked this time! No stupid hand shaking, no reason to be scared of fire!”

“Er. Okay? I don’t know what that means, but I would prefer you tell me if something horrible is going to happen to me?”

“Our friendship is an eventuality that has not happened yet, and I don’t owe you anything!”

“Right.....”

Beholding decides to interrupt this conversation before Helen can give anything else away, and drops the information of where to get some explosives that are slightly more long range than the previous time.

“Wow,” Sasha remarks “I do not like that you know that.”

Tim seems to be winding down, and though still mistrustful, is trying to be less actively hostile.

“Fuck Yeah, heist. I call dibs on being the smooth operator!”

“Can I come?” Helen asks.

“No,” everyone says simultaneously.

“A shame you can’t stop me then.” She remarks.

Everyone groans at this and Helen smiles pleased with herself. Despite the annoyance everyone else starts smiling a little too. This is an exciting idea, that they’re going to be able to face off against something supernatural.

“I can’t believe you managed to seduce a monster before me Martin,” Tim says “completely and utterly unfair.”

Martin’s face darkens in a blush again and he shoves Tim.

Beholding would smile if it could, and the room is filled with a fondness.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for like, police. Basira briefly shows up and talks about her and Daisy’s police brutality, and it’s vaguely mentioned that the justice system is homophobic, but only in that Sasha, who is intersex and put down as male at birth, is roomed with Tim, who’s cis, and Jon and Martin both being trans men are grouped together.
> 
> Also I had lots of fun writing Elias.
> 
> Next chapters the last one guys. I’m so excited.

The heist of the century as Tim calls it, goes off without a hitch, despite Helens “coming along” apparently meaning “will pop in to watch you and refuse to let you use my doors to help.”

The blowing up of the unknowing goes... moderately well. The beholding shows the group that it can in fact distract people and pull their gaze away, allowing them to set up the charges in relative peace, and it lets Tim see the death of his tormentor, which after causes Martin to excitedly yell “did you SEE THAT?!?!” Like an excitable child after the explosion. 

The issue of course comes with the fact that they get arrested after as blowing up buildings is illegal. They give their story about the unknowing and being kidnapped by clowns/ revenge, and are left to sit for several hours in a jail cell, and because police are horrible, and Sasha’s parents had decided wrong what to put on her birth certificate, and Jon and Martin were both trans, they get divided into two different cells.

Helen is again no help and only pops in to laugh at them briefly.

“Well,” Jon says “this is better than the last time I was held against my will somewhere.”

“Yeah....... not alone this time, so that’s good?”

There’s a long tense silence, and the awkwardness only gets worse when beholding decides to give Martin information.

‘He finds carousels thrilling’ ‘he likes your laugh’ ‘you both like carnations’ ‘he doesn’t like poetry but thought yours was alright’

He isn’t sure but he thinks.... he thinks Jon might be trying to give him a sign to shoot his shot. He really hopes he’s right because otherwise the next however long this is going to be will be really awkward, but he can’t think of a better reason he would start sharing facts about Jon liking his laugh of all things.

“Jon there’s.... there’s something I have to tell you, something important, and I don’t know if I’ll have the nerve to say it later. I’m- I like you.”

Jon furrows his brow a bit at this.

“While I’ll admit I was rather unfair to you when we first started working at the Archives, I was rather hoping that it was obvious that we like each other.”

Martin is torn between face palming and dropping the topic, and kissing this ridiculous man, so he settled for laughing uncomfortably.

“No like, I’m.... I have a crush on you, Jon.”

Jons mouth drops into an o shape and there’s a long moment where they just sit there.

“God I’m sorry that was stupid of me to say, obviously you don’t feel the same and now I’ve made things weird while we’re in here for who knows how much longer alone-“

“Martin, stop, it’s fine it- it’s fine. I uh- when I was... when I was kidnapped I didn’t just have your tapes that you sent me. The eye, it sent me some as well, just a lot of moments of you, or sometimes would update me on how you were doing or little facts about you and.... I’ve been trying not to think about it, to be honest. It was a horrible month, and I wasn’t sure if it was just because it’s really all the comfort I had at the time or if- if what I started feeling was genuine.”

“Jon I- are you saying-“

At that moment a nearby door opened and a cop wearing a hijab walks up to the bars.

Spooky Jon seems strangely excited about her appearance though, so Martin figures this is probably okay.

“Why’d you blow up the museum?”

Martin wants to tell her that they already gave their statement, to just ask the other officers, but beholding pulls st his and jons vocal cords, and they’re suddenly spilling almost everything.

When they’re done, she gives them a long look.

“You said a tape monster or something pushed you to do it?”

“Well, I mean it was more the revenge and the whole ‘being kidnapped’ thing and it just helped, but yeah.”

“Hm. There’s- we had a run in with that too.”

“Oh? Well, would you want to make a statement, pool our knowledge so to speak?” Jon asks.

“No,” she says firmly, but Martin can feel the static in the air that comes with a statement.

He doesn’t like that he’s so comfortable ripping peoples stories out, he doesn’t understand why, but that’s the least to be expected when you’re a fear god of knowledge he supposed.

“A few months ago, I got a tape in my living room. I listened to it pretty much immediately after having it checked for any weapon mechanisms that might be in it, because in this line of work something mysteriously showing up in your home tends to either be a threat or a ransom of some kind. Still might of been in a way.

The tape had audio of D- of my partner talking to someone. Everything they said was cut out but the things she said- well it wasn’t nice. I always knew a little bit what she was doing, but I didn’t know it had gotten so bad. Or that I had either. When you’re job has you against the worst of society, it gets engraved in you that you’re all the other has, that everyone else is out to get you so you better have each other’s backs.

The tapes made it clear that she’s been hurting people, and that she hates it. I assumed she was trying to admit it with the tape, but more kept showing up the longer I didn’t bring it up, and some had my voice on them, complaining about her being weak, about her being dead weight because she was trying to avoid hurting people, and I realized that the guilt, the... the withdrawal or whatever it was being described, was something that hadn’t happened yet but needed to, and that I was part of the problem.

We still don’t really know what it is that’s going on though, just that something is making her hurt people and that it hurts her to not, so I’ve been keeping a closer eye on her and we’re only trying to take cases with really bad people, repeat offenders who are more likely to be guilty, just in case my eye slips off her and she’s.... tempted.”

There’s a tenseness in the air.

“That’s- that’s horrible.”

Martin hmms in agreement with Jon and silently asks beholding for any input.

“If you have any alternatives I’d be glad to hear them.”

“Hold on,” Martin says “I just might. It sounds like a fear addiction.”

“A what?” Jon asks incredulous while Basira just looks at him, waiting for him to go on. 

It’s really unnerving.

“Well it’s- her entire thing is chasing people down yeah? She’s not breaking into cells or anything to beat at people, and the- the beholding’s telling me hunt? The um... the avatars kind of feed off fear so I guess.... you guys could make it so that she can’t hunt anymore? Amputation or something.”

Basira glares at what feels the depths of his soul.

“No.”

“Ok,” he squeaks “it was just an idea.”

Beholding decides to help him a bit more and a tape appears.

“‘What? You think people are so special it’s only our fear that counts?- Everything feels afraid sometimes. Sure, maybe it’s not as complicated or… existential as our fear, but it’s real. And there’s, what, twenty billion chickens in the world? A few billion pigs, cows… How many of them are dying of old age? All that terror, it has to go somewhere.’”

Basira gives the tape an untrusting look, but seems thoughtful.

“That’s an idea.”

She looks back at Jon and Martin.

“You’re being released by the way.”

“Really?” Jon asks “it’s that easy? You just... decide to do it, no paper work or anything?”

“Oh no, I came in to let you out actually, I just wanted to hear about your whole deal first, see if you had any useful information, and you did.”

“WHAT-“ Martin starts, but Jon puts a hand on his shoulder to ground him. He’s pissed too, but he knows how to best interact with officers for his safety. There’s no guaranteed way of course, and he’s never been very good at social interactions, but not actively yelling at them when they’re about to be let go is a good first step.

Basira just shrugs.

“Worked out fine didn’t it?” She asks as she digs out the keys to let them out “your stories checked out, and there’s a few less monsters in the world now. Also someone paid big money to have you released so.”

“We don’t know anyone who isn’t here, much less anyone who’s rich, who’d have us released?” Jon asks.

They get out of the holding area and barely have time to reunite with Tim and Sasha before a head briefly pops around the door and disappears again, followed by someone with horrendously dyed hair and boba tea coming in the room on heelies and then promptly tripping and falling on the floor.

“ELIAS?” Tim chokes out.

“Glad to see you doing better” Martin says. “ Coordinationcould use some work though.”

“Oh fuck off,” he says, voice surprisingly high.“I was supposed to gouged my eyes out, of course I’m not very good at this. Give a blind man a break.”

“You aren’t blind though,” Sasha says “or at least you have both your eyes.”

“Fine then, I am uncoordinated because I lost twenty years of my life and didn’t have the ability to walk on my own all that time.”

“It’s been three months,” Martin says.

“LOOK ok, do you want me to bail you or not?”

“Shutting up.”

“Sorry what is HAPPENING HERE” Tim asks.

“Oh yeah so. I’m Elias, nice to meet you all, Jonah Magnus was possessing me for a long time, it was hella bunk but your evil eye dude helped me out.”

“What’s with the uhhh...” Jon vaguely gesturesto all of Elias, except for the horrendous 90’s slang which isn’t a physical thing that can be gestured about.

He takes a long sip of his boba.

“The guy who stole my life was filthy rich, and I’m like, traumatized. It’s called coping bitch.”

“Have you perhaps tried therapy?” Sasha asks.

“Oh shit, is that a thing you can do now without getting any flack? Nice! Oh BTW, beholding told me to give you guys these, don’t know why but enjoy.”

He hands Tim and Sasha two tickets to Malaysia and Jon and Martin two tickets to Scotland.

“And as your boss technically, I’m giving you a mandatory month off, sorry. Anyway, byezz!”

They all look at each other shocked.

“What the fuck.”

Everyone kind of just nods in agreement, and beholding drops plane times into their heads.

“Right then. We only have about an hour to pack, so best get going,” Sasha says “See you guys next month.”


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for sticking with me through this, it has been a pleasure to write this for you.
> 
> This is the last chapter; and I hope you enjoy.
> 
> Thank you for reading.

They’re about to kiss, a rarity in of it self as Jon is rather touch adverse with about everyone but Martin and is rarely in the mood, when they hear a tape click on.

Jon lets out a groan.

“Really? Again? You can afford us just a moment of privacy?”

“Every time” Martin mutters shaking his head.

The tape still doesn’t go away so Jon looks to Martin for help.

“Why are you looking at me?”

“Because it actually listens to you sometimes.”

“Sure, why not, worth a shot,” Martin turns to the running tape “first of all audio only kisses sound disgusting-“

“Glad you have your priorities straight” Jon says, rolling his eyes.

“And somethings are private you know, not everything is for you.”

“‘It is addressed to me.’” The tape whines, and Martin quickly tries to shush it.

“Martin? Martin what does that mean? You’re you are obviously trying to hide something from me.”

“It’s not- it’s not my secret to tell, but I suppose if it wants to...”

He takes the pillow muffling the tape off.

“Are you sure you want to come clean NOW?”

“‘I trust you’”

“Alright then I guess, I’ll let you explain yourself.”

He picks up the tape and puts it down on Jons lap. He doesn’t know why, it just feels... more intimate or something for it to be up there with them, more right.

“‘My name is Jonathan Sims-‘ ‘the Archive. Because you do not administer and preserve the records of fear, Jon. You are a record of fear.’” 

Jon gives the tape a wild look and looks between it and Martin.

“No way.”

“‘I’m still me.’”

Jon gives Martin a glare.

“You’re telling me you knew this evil god THING is supposedly some twisted version of me and you didn’t say anything?!?”

“You didn’t want me too! I found out by accident and it wasn’t really my secret to share.”

“And how exactly did this happen?”

The tape refuses to really add anything to the conversation and Martin sighs.

“I’m not- you weren’t exactly clear on it, but from my understanding the world sort of ended? And you could come back because you were boarder line all powerful?”

Jon looks at the tape in bewilderment.

“Why would I then? I mean, obviously I would l, but the tapes- we KNOW it occasionally revels I’m suffering, why would it come back?”

There’s a long moment of silence and then.

“‘Jon I- I don’t know if you can hear this or- or if there’s enough of you left to care but- please. I can’t- I don’t care how- how weird or uh- evil you are I just. I can’t do this on my own, I can’t be alone, not again I just. I need you, I need you to come back or at least some sort of sign that you’re still sentient or- please. Just... just give me something.’”

Martin and Jon look at each other in that moment.

“You- you came back for- for ME.” Martin says a bit breathlessly.

“And you didn’t leave me, even when I was a monster.” Jon says in awe.

Martin takes the tape in his hands really quick.

“I want to tell you thank you, for all of this. For saving everyone, for setting me and Jon up, for all of it.”

Jon clears his throat and gives him a sly smirk.

“But as much as I appreciate it, I do need you to leave immediately because privacy is a big thing, and I need to snog you immediately.”

The tape disappears, and Martin lets out a little “thank you” even though he knows it can’t hear him.

“We still need to talk about this later.”

“I know. But for now can I- can I kiss you?”

“I think I’d like that.”

Martin throws himself at Jon, who lets out a laugh of surprise, and they kiss.

They don’t know the recorder simply moved under the bed so they couldn’t see it, and is happily recording every moment.

——————————

Somewhere else, in a different time, in a different world, one of the last free humans presses pause on a tape recorder, and smiles.

“God I love you.”

“‘I love you too.’”

And for one, beautiful, shining moment, a world based on fear is filled with nothing but pure, unadulterated joy.


End file.
